


Potter's Revenge

by FrenchRoast



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrenchRoast/pseuds/FrenchRoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Altverse where everything's a turned a little upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potter's Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I forgot about this until I was cleaning out my word doc files. I must have written it at least five or six years ago, and I only vaguely remember what I was planning to do with it. But I do want to finish it at some point, though I'm not making any promises. For now, I hope you can enjoy it for the drabble it is.

Harry Potter slept soundly on his futon. A cold breeze blew in from an open window, and he turned toward the wall, away from the twilight view of London. Life after Hogwarts was rough; he’d been up hours before dawn setting up shop in Olivander’s, and all he wanted to do in his free time was nothing. Unfortunately, Harry’s plans to waste another night sleeping were done in by two knocks on the door. Draco walked in, carrying a large set of books.

“Harry, you won’t believe what I found at the library.”

“Mmphf,” came a groan from the futon. Draco set the books down on their sad excuse for a table. One of the legs was wonky, making it lean, so Draco held the pile of books on the table with one hand while bending down to adjust the paving stone they kept under the wonky leg to keep the table even. That done, he stood back up and walked over to Harry.

“Remember that blog you started years ago?”

Harry flipped over on the futon and looked at Draco. “What about it?”

“Some lady’s gone and used it as source material. For a whole set of books!”

Harry sat up. “You’re taking the mickey, aren’t you?” He walked over to the table where Draco had set the books out. Picking one up, he read the title. “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? What the hell? Can't she spell Alcatraz properly?”

Draco shrugged. “I read some of them while I was stuck in the tube on the way over. She’s changed everything to make it sound more fantastical. It’s almost absurd. House elves! As though any elf would stoop to speaking to one of us, let alone do our drudge work. And goblins in Gringott’s! Everyone knows goblins went extinct ages ago.”

Harry flipped through a few pages in “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.”

“This is surreal. She’s gone and made Hermione plain and frizzy-haired? Hermione’s smokin’ hot.” Harry shook his head, trying to erase the image of a frumpy Hermione in favor of the sexy model he’d ogled in school.

“Amen, brother. Amen.”

“And Ron Weasley? Poor?”

“He would die of the shame,” Draco said with a nod. “Headmaster Snape’s been turned into some kind of villain who’s best buds with Dumbledore. Whoever that is.”

“And…well, I guess you would make a good enemy. But this joining the lord of darkness stuff…it’s very not you. Much more Neville’s style. He’s the emo one.”

“Do you know, he bought emo glasses last week. Thick black frames. ”

“He did? Wow. Listening to Dashboard Confessional as well, I guess?”

Draco nodded. “And he still gets all the girls.”

“That’s one thing Rowling’s improved on,” Harry said with a nod. “I’m a total stud in these books. An ignorant, whiny stud, but I can deal with that.”

Draco continued to flip through one of the books. “Good lord,” Draco said in a hushed tone. “Tom Riddle’s the villain?”

“No way!” Harry grabbed the book Draco was holding. “Well, I’ll be damned. The Mother Teresa of the Wizarding world, and she makes him the bloody villain."

"You’d think saving the world from zombies—er, Inferi, I guess she calls them—and healing the sick would get him something more than your typical boring evil villain role.”

They both sat in silence, staring at the tomes in front of them.

“I need a drink,” Harry said finally. “Let’s hit the pubs.”

Draco sighed. “No money.”

“Dudley’s bartending down at the Sherlock. He’ll let us bum a few drinks.”


End file.
